i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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