If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
