Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
