Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
