i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
