On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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