I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
