Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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