Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
