I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
