Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
