Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize