Well apparently he's into motor boating.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
