where does the pee come out of this thing
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
