He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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