I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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