i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
