I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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