it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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