I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
