Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
