If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
