Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
