you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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