it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
