it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
