Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
