his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
