i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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