well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
