they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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