My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
