just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
