she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
