I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
