I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
