im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
