love makes seman taste better
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
