I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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