I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
