a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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