I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize