can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
