if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
