I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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