this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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