I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
