Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
