She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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