is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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