May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
