i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize