Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We smell like vodka and hangover
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