Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
