My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
