well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
