Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
