Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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