with your own penis?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
