We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
