There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
