I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
