just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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