No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize