Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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