There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's Friday. Sex?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
