A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
